calm comotion

I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. I can(?).

India Arie says:

It doesn't cost a thing to smile.
You don't have to pay to laugh.
You better thank God for that.

It's all about perception.

So you act-so you feel-so you are.

It's all about the size of the faith in your heart.

...I had an interesting text-convo with my stepmom. Inspirational and long...cuz i've been in a funk...

Trying to figure out my path and simultaneously feeling like I have no control over anything...

Keeping in my mind that God is in control is so very hard to live up to for some reason. Keeping my heart and mind open is crucial...

I try to yet I will not change who I am cuz where i've been and where i'm goin is all because of who i've been. I'm struggling with faith in God and myself.

i call myself "baby". when baby needs inspiration, i say: "baby...come on baby...i can do it...".

I have to repeatedly remind myself that what's mine will be just for me. God knew me before this world therefore, he will watch me and take care of me.

But, reminders only work if I believe in them. (as per my sm.)

Tanya really helped me the other day with her faithful words and her life encompassing quotes. I'm glad I texted and she called. I think she's an angel in disguise. So I want to immortalize her throught my blog. =]

Other than that...I'm gonna try harder to let go and let God. And to control my attitude and be thankful for who I am.

How's she doing?...

She's doing fine.
She's sleeping at
night. During the day too.
With the windows open and the music blasting.
She's waking up with a faint smile and a fading memory.
She wants to
drink peppermint tea and read curve magazine.
She wants to give back to
someone who doesn't exist yet.
Still beautiful, she wants to paint in her
room with no interruptions.
She wants to paint her room.
She's not a flower.
She's the seed and the
soil.
She's now peeking through towards the
sunlight.

I SHOULD CARE

But, this is the perfect situation. So i don't.

She has a girlfriend... But I want her. So...Ima get her. She wants me. I'm up for the taking. And giving... and getting... :-P

So. That is my situation with T.

M is another deal. Wtf? Georgia is too far for me. Dead. But still friends.

S... she lives in Uniondale. Something is in order.

I just wanna have fun. I'm leaving for my new life in two months!!!
Girls are are my mind. Just girls and art. That's how it's supposed to be.

I wanna put some art up but I'm on my last piece for my concentration. I gotta stay focused. I'll put it up 2morrowow. That's when I'll be finished.

0.o <--- EXCITED

I just applied to a bunch of places. I still want to work at the beach though.

Hope that works out. Goodnite. I'm tired...

How many mics do you rip on the daily?...

Today was really good!

I didn't have Giddy Brain (that inexplicable happiness brought on by a sunny day...)

But I'm sure I'll have it 2morrow. ^.^

90 degrees!!! Woot!!! 7-11 slushie status....

So... I dyed my hair again 2day. Not sure if I like it alot... it's supposed to be spiced auburn---Ha. Bullshit.

But I'm glad cuz it's a change. I'm def gonna do another color in a month tho.

As promised, I finished some artwork today.



Small sketch b4 oil painting



Oil painting- Jumping Woman

Peace. TTY2mm.

I need some words. Inspiration. Goddess. God-Is.

I've been praying so much and turning my life over to God. Because I've realized communion isn't an immediate change. I'm recreating and redefining a lot of things in my life. "The time is now..."

All her music. Because God is Good.

I think I'm afraid to be strong...but i am strong. So... I'm afraid to be myself??

Only God knows. I got a new Bible. :-)

I'm meeting a me I know needs to go places.

TBC...

p.s. I'm in love with Queen God-Is. Completely. She lets me know that I'm meant to be in love with my life.

THROW SOME QUEENZ ON 'EM.

I need some more poetry. spoken word. music. healing me. passion. please. thank you.

no more hiding. . .next blog will have a sketch.