Money vs. Me

I'm a Vector sales Rep for Cutco Merchandise.

I sell things. I'm ok at my job. But i think i want a different one. I wanted a 9 to 5 or one that has something to do with me. Like artistic or activist or just McDonalds.

Like routine. Idk... I looked really hard for a job and i prayed for one. The job found me. =]

But maybe its not the right one. Maybe it is. I'm really tired right now and I want to sleep.

I miss my sketchbook and theres no time to relax...

I miss my oil paint also. =[

and my canvas... and music...

It's kinda wiered how this job has taken over my life basically. Really wierd. I'm working really hard for something that means nothin me.---> Knives.

Like WTF???!!! Yea I CAN make a lot of money.

Hm. I'd rather have a stupid job and be able to have a stable schedule. I wanna work at an art gallery. Really badly. Alot.

=/

So what to do??

Am I supposed to be miserable?? Maybe until i get better...

1.Im gonna schedule driving classes.

2.Then I'm gonna call the contacts in Chitown.

3. Then I'm gonna contact the restaurant in Chicago. =]

4. Then Student Employment.


Get the ball rolling yo!!!!!!!! WOOt WOOOOOOT!!! That's my future rite there.

The next time I blog I'll be happier and painting again. Lol. i promise....myself.

...Ttyl.

I'll leave you with...



Bye!! =]

Now, I'm a Poem

Today was a crazy day. Filled with so many fires lit under my ass telling me to stand up and run. Towards something...

I often wonder what gift God has bestowed upon me. And i know that wondering is good...Lol.. "What is the meaning of life?"

"Those who constantly question about what they've been taught to believe need their voices to be heard."... (or sumthing like that). Ken Wong said that at the Pride Rally today at Bryant Park.

Anyway... I could have seen Staceyann Chin today. She spoke at the Rally. But I came too late. I saw some other really good speakers and artists. But... She is by far one of my heroes. I pray that one day I get to see her live... possibly meet her...





"Being vulnerable is the only way to become strong."

Oh! Speaking of "face to face" (or lack thereof...)

Remember Denice Frohman?? aka Miss Misconception?? From Momma's Hip Hop Kitchen for the Soul???



I saw her on the A Train coming from Brooklyn today. I was less than 5 feet away from her!!!

...And i didn't say a word...

THE STORY-

I got a Tweet at 12:54 pm from 'denicefrohman'- "heading to the BK Hip-HOP Festival Today!"

At once, I told Jimmy to look it up on her Iphone. But she refused to!!!

At around 3pm...I peeped her I(and maybe Ms. Wise)!!! A-train!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! =D

The end!

CRAAAAAAAAAAZIIIIIII right???!!!!

Anyway, I'd been excited about her and Ms. Wise's collabo at "Pussies, Pens and Politics" at the FIRST PHILLY LGBT ARTS FESTIVAL.... Yo i wish i had money... =/

But anyway... I tracked it down on you-tube.



Ms. Wise is def gonna be on my mind and tongue and fingers for a long time.




So... my faves are Staceyann Chin, Denice Frohman, Queen God-Is and Ms. Wise.

Can't wait for the freedom to cross state lines more than once in one day and seek inspiration. For inspiration's sake.



I wanna be on stage with women like them...painting and telling my story. And creating new ones. Weaving my love into theirs and living for it. Words are... everything to me. And thought I might not the be the best at using them...i feel like they are an inherent force inside of me and everyone. Whether you use them or not. Hm. I may never be an award winning poetess or artist or whatever...I hope I stay on my grind and continue to shine.

Me...Giving back to those who walk with me and even those who don't exist yet. What is my mission? Sooner or later I'll be able to put it into words.

Anyway, I write a whole lot. More than I draw or paint. Hm.

Places to Go-

1. Nuyorican Peots Cafe
2. SOBS
3. Def Jam Poetry
(Im sure the list is longer but my mindset allows me to only think about poetry.)

I want a love like...



G'nite.

the list

"There was this girl on my block
who had the best lollipops.
Best I'd ever tasted-
Nobody could top.
Without a question I payed a dollar a pop.
I savored her-
every last drop." - Me



I've been sitting at home all day because of the rain. I think summer forgot to come to us this year.

I've been looking for a job since 3 months ago. Hm. Outlook still stormy.

Last night was "taco night" with my homies. =] It was awesum. Perfect.

Tommorow is physics regents review session then PROM DRESS SHOPPING (and purchasing).

Ok. Cut to some more personal poetry.

Identity?
No longer a rock-
rock steady on my chest
Words on my tongue
Commotion make me queasy
slow motion rhymes with ocean
of emotion
rhymes with easy but
In reality
Should or shouldn't
mention...
the hands in air and buried faces
and soul encrypted in afros and totem poles
The more I say it
the looser the lips get
Like i drank it-
it went straight to my head
neurons buzzing...
Newfound ballsack.
And who gives a shit whats between my legs,
really?
And who gives to me...?
They who want to know who i become.
Who i be...

Like making sunshine.

I wanted to dance in the rain today. I felt OH SO STIFLED in school. Thank goodness it ends next friday.

So i can start over.

Start again.

Start new.



I felt like making sunshine.

Like rising my head off the desk and pirouetting across the floor for the sake of my sanity.

I never realized so fully that high school is imaginary.

And I'm breaking away. Breaking away fervently and with a passion that will strike out anywhere.

In rainshine or sunfall.

Also. Today I explored my friend's ipod. I twittered my enjoyment. =]

I found i have a hidden love for Sarah Vaughn.



That is a Sarah Vaughn piece- Peter Gunn. Verve Remixed.



Charles Mingus- reincarnation of a love bird...

I've always loved jazz but i think the rainy days have made my saxophone wings unfurl.

Rainy Day Escapades

I woke up in the palm of a giant's hand this morning!

It was such a mystery how my pillow became nested in the grooves of his hand and I peacefully dozed off to Enya on my stereo...

Anyway, I got up and tiptoed down his thumb (careful not to tickle him!) and down his forearm until i finally got to the ground. I noticed the sky was spitting sum hot shit outside.

I paused so i could listen and applaude.

Next,I brushed my teeth in the bathroom sink.

Literally in the sink! I had to sit on the toothpaste tube so I wouldn't drown in the waterfall of running water.

Finished with my morning routine, I got dressed in a beautiful ensemble made of soft red leaves, fresh green grass, and a fresh mushroom. I stood in front of the sliver of glass on the giant's bedroom floor and applauded my awesome artistic fashionistic expression. =]

On my way to school, I had to call up my friend, Bumblebee, because I was going to be late to school. I really did not want to hear my mother wailing about missing first period again. Plus, Bumble lives on my block so it wouldn't be a hassle.

Once I got to school, I jumped off her wings and accidentally landed in a tree! I had to use my mushroom as a cushion as I dropped off the wet branches to get down.

Drifting into my first class, I ate a strawberry magic bar that fueled my senses and allowed me to fly high above the entire class for 35 whole minutes!! (I've gotta tell mommy butterfly to get some more of that...)

Once second period began, I jumped through the wires of the land of Eye-Pahd. The doors were covered in harmony and the walls were dripping with notes of the highest a-chord. I brought my pen and sketchbook along with me just in case the words I heard needed to last forever.

For a full hour and a half I Pee-Wee biked it through the highs and lows of the tundra to Take Back Sunday and pacify the Panic at the Disco. I stopped for a little Relient K-bar on the way back- it seems to have just the right amount of liquid soul and solid heart for me.

For lunch, I shared seeds with the birds and the nuts with the squirrels. They invited me back for more next week because my conversation was filled with wit and cream cheese.

(I didn't know that squirrels and birds liked cream cheese so much!!...)

The rest of my day was spent learnind how to transcend the wickedness called MPC (memorizing pre-calculus) and CAB (caring about grades).

My parents told me to stay away from strangers... so I held my brain far away from the textbook cult!!

After a hard day of intense combat, I went to see Madame E. Madame E. is simply wonderful. Thinking, speaking, and weaving spiderwebs together are her most amazing attributes. I enjoyed my time with her (as always). She taught me how to do a simple dimple giggle weave as I am a beginner of the art.

On the way home, Mommy Butterfly stopped by the local shopping center, Kramhtap to purchase strawberries, eggs, and angel hair. I couldn't resist adding in some doves to make the basket complete.

Now home, I am ready to tiptoes back to my secret place, the crook of the giant's thumb and pointer.

Comfortably in place, I will hope the sky spits some more hot shit tonight so that it can make way for the early yellowpink blossom of the morning.

What a day to take to a Wild Child...