More precious than silver. More precious than diamond rings.

REMIX!!!!!!!!!!

It's a rainy day...I haven't stepped out of my apt...nonetheless...I feel good.

Turkey Sammich, Pringles, and Swedish Fish

So...I had a talk with my twin about my anxieties...and all is well.

Today was her Orientation. XD It feels so real now!!! It's all beginning...

She sleeps over for two nights...while I went to the Parent Orientation that made me so bored as to have my brain leak out onto the floor...

O.o

I spilled my peppermint tea on my crotch and legs in front of ALL the parents. I cursed the tea... "Fuck my life!! Shit!! It's so hot!!!!"

I was wearing shorts. I could've cried...Seriously, I was so UPSET.

But...um...the rest of the day was a blur. I knocked out for about 4/5 hours and woke up at midnight, which is why I am up right now.

Not doing much at the moment... :)

Listening to Meshell Ndegeocello...

I want to give my love...
"When you want me baby...just call...This is love...this is how i love you..."

It takes courage to enjoy it

So much crazy stuff I can't explain!! These last few days. But you know what?...

I'm blessed with strength and unexpected angels. =]

So enjoy this song with hopes for life and love...

Lyrics:

i can sense it
something important
is about to happen
it's coming up

it takes courage to enjoy it
the hardcore & the gentle

BIG TIME SENSUALITY

we just met
and i know i'm a bit too intimate
but something huge is coming up
and we're both included

it takes courage to enjoy it
the hardcore & the gentle

BIG TIME SENSUALITY

i don't know my future after this weekend
- and i don't want to!

it takes courage to enjoy it
the hardcore & the gentle

BIG TIME SENSUALITY

Maybe… ( A Poem About Life )

Maybe… we were supposed to meet the
wrong people before meeting the right one
so that, when we finally meet the right person,
we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe… it is true that we don't know
what we have until we lose it,
but it is also true that we don't know
what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe…happiness waits for all those who cry,
all those who hurt, all those who have searched,
and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate
the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe . . you should do something nice for someone
every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe … giving someone all your love is never
an assurance that they will love you back.
Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their
heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe…you should dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go, be what you want to be,
because you have only one life and one chance
to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

Maybe…life is only travelled once; and
today’s moment becomes tomorrow’s memory.
Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because
the gift of life is life itself…."

-Anonymous-

Sidewalks

So...Good Morning. Drinking Cinnamon Apple Tea and eating a Strawberry Pop Tart.

I woke up this morning from a sleep that felt like a short nap. (It was only 5 hours.) I woke up feeling the same even though the sun was shining in my face and I prayed before I went to bed.

I'm mourning the loss of alot this summer. It's quickly crashing down on me...that I'm leaving in four weeks. My life here feels like it's...not over but... suspended. I have no place here. I don't feel like I belong anymore. I'm just waiting around until that plane takes me away.



There's nothing to do and even my sister has ceased to have a certain connection with me due to her newfound relationship that I fully support yet am jealous of because I feel like I am no longer important seeing as how she doesn't talk to me like she used to.

Uhmmm...yea I'm just feeling really disconnected right now. I was thinking about calling Esther and setting up a meeting. I don't know. I'm floating.

I have daydreams about my life in Chicago and college. But I haven't envisioned the day of my departure and subsequent arrival. It seems like those moments are skipping away from me although I'm trying, determined, to prepare for that day. My sister won't even be there. That makes me want to cry because we are not as close as we used to be. I don't think. Maybe...Sigh...

It's just really alot to think about and also, my summer is not awesum. It's turning out to be a sort of "limbo". I'm doing nothing preparing for the next step in my life.



The girls I'm talking to are losing their flair in relation to me. I feel like I'm totally being extracted from this place beceuse I can't focus on it. I'm focusing on what comes after next month. I need a way to change that or a way to fast forward.

Residential withdrawal syndrome much?...

It's funny..I thought about California for school before I thought of Chicago...