Family Secrets and the Beginning of Forgiveness

Sometimes I kick my own ankles and

Trip on my shoelaces,

bruise and scratch my shins

tryna count the paces it will take for me to win.

Because I'm made up of things like

parks with swing sets

and when mommy let me ride my bike in the street.

Not on the side walk

with all the other kids,

Cuz it was just that cool to be in the street.

Most of the times I looked out into the street

lights on my porch

from the windows that I think were beautiful

because they look like Sankofa from the side.

But rules were to shut the blinds that night

We always forgot to open them in the morning...

Some rules were meant to be broken

like no eating in the bedrooms.

So I left a bag of chips on my sheets

Only for 10 minutes and I thought that beds gave birth to ants that day.

I found a hill 2 inches tall,

We were all were hungry I suppose.

I grabbed the bottle of bleach,

sprayed my pillow

staining Mickey with cotton white cheeks.

Not a word left my mouth about the discovery

Silence begets

silence can't save you from all harm and danger

So yes,

We heard the exclamations of fed-up-ness and domestic violence-ness,

homegrown pain.

These fists that exist in our hearts and minds

Not only hurt you

But hurt us too

Like primary encouragement

for a pot on the head

or a hot spoon

recovering & transforming

& a dripping red mouth

shut against your common law lover.

I've learned that it's against common law to choose wisely.

I still look from those beautiful bars

that look like Sankofa from the side.

Sometimes bars and chains

and tears and pain

become your source of pride.

I wish to say this to those

who gave me something to hide.

Who should have said it before

My double digit parade came

Leading the way to the death of the charade.

I need you, you need me.
We're all a part of God's body.
Stand with me, agree with me.
We're all a part of God's body.
It is her will that every need be supplied.
You are important to me, I need you to survive.

I pray for you , you pray for me.
I love you, I need you to survive.
I won't harm you with words from my mouth.
I love you, I need you to survive.